There is something so peaceful about sleeping children. Is it that the house is finally put back together after a long day of play? Is it that the house is quiet of the screaming, running, crying, teasing kids? Or is it that the house is still crazy and I don't have the energy to pick things up, but I don't care? Even as little babies, the kids bedtime has been 7pm. Why is this one of my most favorite parts of the day? I feel bad to say that, but I love the quietness and peacefulness of the evening when the dishes are done, toys are put away, children are clean and fed and sound asleep. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the laughter, the funny jokes, the overall fun and happiness that my children bring to me every day during the day. But, as I do my final tuck-in's before I head off to bed, I am often brought to tears as I think of how sweet and precious they are. I am reminded of how imperfect a mother I am and how I am trying to be more loving, more patient, more compassionate, more patient, more understanding, more fun, and more patient. I fall so short day after day. Thankfully, as I tuck in the little darlings, I am reminded how perfect and loving and forgiving they are. Often I tell them, with tears in my eyes, that I am so sorry and that I will try harder tomorrow to be a better mother to them. Tomorrow I will, tomorrow I will... I love them more than I ever imagined possible. I am trying, I am trying, I am trying. Why is it so hard?
There is something so peaceful about sleeping children. Is it that the house is finally put back together after a long day of play? Is it that the house is quiet of the screaming, running, crying, teasing kids? Or is it that the house is still crazy and I don't have the energy to pick things up, but I don't care? Even as little babies, the kids bedtime has been 7pm. Why is this one of my most favorite parts of the day? I feel bad to say that, but I love the quietness and peacefulness of the evening when the dishes are done, toys are put away, children are clean and fed and sound asleep. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the laughter, the funny jokes, the overall fun and happiness that my children bring to me every day during the day. But, as I do my final tuck-in's before I head off to bed, I am often brought to tears as I think of how sweet and precious they are. I am reminded of how imperfect a mother I am and how I am trying to be more loving, more patient, more compassionate, more patient, more understanding, more fun, and more patient. I fall so short day after day. Thankfully, as I tuck in the little darlings, I am reminded how perfect and loving and forgiving they are. Often I tell them, with tears in my eyes, that I am so sorry and that I will try harder tomorrow to be a better mother to them. Tomorrow I will, tomorrow I will... I love them more than I ever imagined possible. I am trying, I am trying, I am trying. Why is it so hard?
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1 comment:
That is a sweet post Kim! I am sure I will soon feel the way you do but know that as an outsider looking in... I think you are a fantastic mother!
Of course, you will have good days and bad days or good hours and bad hours each day but none of us are perfect, so all we can do is try, try, try! You do a great job trying to be the best mom you can be!
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